The Pit of our Re-Birth

When entering the dark pit of our inner world- we are entering a magical and at times painful space of being. We are entering the very deepest parts of our inner selves. Here lies all we have shunned or put away saying we would look at another time. Here lies all the times we said we were okay when we were not. Here lies all the times when we did not cry out or shout out our pains or losses, hoping they would go away. Here lies all the dreams we felt were never realised, all the times we felt we had failed ourselves or others. Here lies all we are still to know and so heal.

And here also lies our greatest power. For in facing these aspects of ourselves, we are coming to own all parts of ourselves. We cannot come into our Power when we are censoring who we are. Our shadows are just as valid as the part that stands in the light. For as sun and moon are in harmony, as day turns to night and back into day and then to night so we travel between these worlds in our own selves.

Empowerment means we are in our God/Goddess given glory aspect of Self. Means we are in a space of Love that lives unconditionally. Means we are fully aligned with all we are and came here to be. It would be nice perhaps to think that we came to this place from floating above the messiness of life and strong emotions. Or its sometimes fed we come to this place from being “love and light”. We are human. We are Spirit in a human body. That experience means we are here to dance between the human aspects that feel those less than palatable emotions like rage, revenge and the perhaps more elevated aspect that sees into this all with Love and Acceptance. We do not ignore one to have more of the other. We do not ask the sun to stop shining because we prefer moonlight. We learn to navigate both and see the inherent wisdom and power in both.

Shamanically when one journeys there are three worlds to traverse. The Upper World, the Lower World and the Middle World. The Lower world is the place of the ancestors. And so it is also the place of all in us that has been passed down, and the family, the wounds, the child that seeks healing. Its the dark cave, the pit sometimes. Its the place of power and healing. It can be the place of incubation. The Upper world can take us to heights of elevation and communion with Divine beings. However one and the other are needed for all aspects of oneself. Guidance will come in different forms in both worlds. We house these worlds in us also and we travel to them when we start to find the road map of our inner world. For the external world is a reflection of our inner landscape.

So we need to go into this pit. This pit shall hold the key to who we are and what we need to heal. And it will also be a place of re birth. The pit is the place where we take our sometimes battered self to heal, to die and then be re born. It is the womb, it is the Divine Mother in us who sees our scars from the playground of life and allows them to bleed until they start to heal of their own accord. It is the place of release. And until we release we cannot make space for the new.

So what do you need to grieve, what has remained un-grieved in your life? What is it that you say you will look at later and when will that later be?

I have been to the pit many times, sometimes so deep I thought I would never come back out. To heal childhood wounds. To allow them to bleed dry until they start to heal by themselves. Knowing that the scars may not go- but the associated pain can and does. So one day we look at these scars and touch them and they no longer hurt. They become our signs of a life lived. And what a life too!

I have been to the pit to mourn and grieve the part of me that yearned to be a mother for so long. The part of me that dreamt that one day I would be settled down, with a home in the country and kids running around after me. The part of me and my womb that longed to bring life into this world- with a passion that consumed at times. Being in this pit has been so incredibly painful at times that it felt like I was losing my mind. I was! I was losing the part of my mind, of my being that was locked in a dream. I was losing the longing that was standing in the way of the happening. And there is always more losing to go through until the regathering begins.

The dismemberment of parts of ourselves to be re-membered is vital. Life is a constant cycle of longing, penetration, growth, birth, life, death and re birth. We go through these phases constantly. When we start to recognize these phases we start to own the cycle and so see where is the time to rest, to grieve, to go out into the world and to be re born.

The pit is the place we are re born from. It is our burial chamber at times, where we lay our weary selves to rest and say this is what is no longer working in my life and this is what must leave my life in order for me to be re born. This is what I give to the earth to be recycled and this is what I shall be born from. So as we shed the old pasts we have carried in us we feed the pit with the fuel we shall need for our re birth.

And how long do we spend here? Who knows. As long as it takes. How do we not get lost here? I believe by being aware. By knowing this is my surrender and release time. This is my dying time. I must allow myself the time and space to truly let go so I can return to the dawning sun and start anew and with a deeper knowing of self.

The pit then is our greatest space of learning and empowerment. Should we shun to go there for fear of it being messy, for fear of the perceived darkness, we live a half existence. Every plant digs deep into the earth with roots for grounding, for strength for the ability to stand tall under the elements and soak in the light. And so must we. We dig down deeper into who we are every time we go into this pit. We did down deeper into our power every time we go into that space so we can truly soak up all that life has to offer when we come out the other side.

Our grieving and death in the pit is far from the end. It is simply the end of a cycle that may not have served us. It heralds the start of the re birth. And anything may bring us out. A friend, a song, a shaft of sunlight or just the desire to leave now. Should we know all is held in the loving arms of Spirit- we then know that all is safe and all has the ability to transform us – as all is Love.

The Burial is a Shamanic Initiation. It is a death to be re born. In the grave one faces all one’s fears, the time in there seems an eternity and there is no one to distract us nor to blame. We have just ourselves. All our fears, our dreams, our pains, our strengths to get us through that night. And when we come out, when the morning’s early sunlight hits out eyes we know we have come through our dark night, we have faced all that we feared and we have been given a new day to step into with all we discovered in that grave. I have been buried in initiation, I know what that long night feels like. And I also know we face our own burials metaphorically many times in many ways. Love does not die. And so what is of Love in us shall keep us alive in ways we could never even have imagined.

The pit shall re kindle your Love fires that shall keep you warm as you allow the last breath of all that must die to leave you. And that same Love, that lies in you, that is the God/Goddess in you- shall wake you when the time has come and tell you this day is the day of your re birth. Go live now with the knowledge you gained from that long night.

And so it is. It is so.

www.sacredspacehealing.org

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A Prayer to Self Love

Blessed Mother Father God, help me to forgive myself on every level. Help me to see the small child in me that has longed for love for so long and to speak to this child with Love and Patience. The way you have always looked upon me. May I be as the gentle winds that caress the faces of all You love and allow myself to love all aspects of myself. May I have the faith and the courage to travel deep into my wounds and see that they are reflections of my bravery and spirit, that were learnings on this path of Life. May I remember that I came to this realm to experience the myriad complexities of Life. And sometimes that means that I may forget that I am a pure child of Spirit. Help me to remember my own Divinity. Help me to remember that I am intrinsically perfect, and that there is nothing in me that is not loveable.
May I fall into the arms of Love often, may I allow myself to be myself in all my wonderment and Truth.
Blessed One, Great Mystery may I see that I am an infinitely powerful being and that I have complete control over the life experiences I have.
May I love with a passion that cannot be quenched. May I forgive with an open heart and may I always have Faith in myself. For I AM but a reflection of your Great Love, come to serve and celebrate at this time
Aymen

 

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Fall Into

Fall into my arms

For I have never left you

There is a garden that sits deep inside you

it houses the love we shared and created

The beauty we birthed and celebrated

Go there and sit with me

For I am forever with you

My arms are forever wrapped around you

Shielding you from the icy winds that sometimes come

And guiding you when the path grows darker

 

Fall into my eyes and see that the yearning

You feel is to feel

Is to Love and know that Love

Has never left you

Fall into my breath and hear the words I used to whisper to you

In sleepless times of waking and dreaming

Stay close to the sounds of my breath as it joined yours and we

Ascended as One

 

We have never been apart my Love

We have never been separated by anything

Than the Illusion that has been fed and shall now soon die

For it must

For the lives that are being led in separation and isolation

In seclusion and disregard for the sentiments of Others

Must come to an End

Or there can be no Survival
You and I know we were not made to be

Focused on Self

You and I know that nothing comes from shutting the doors

To our homes and acting as if we were the only Gods, the only God

That way lies a madness that leads to more of the same

 

We are not the Gods who sit on high to punish and steal
We are not the Gods who live in isolation and selfishness

We are only the reflection of a Mighty One, who we house in us

Only from a space of Love

When Love is gone that Mighty One transforms into a great Beast that shall

Devour us from the Inside Out and we shall not even know it

Till the last moment

 

Fall into my Arms my Beloved

It has always been about this simple Truth

We came from Love and we have the choice to return to Love

Or live in the folly of darkness and foolishness

 

Fall into my arms for our Love

Knows that the Pathway home is a remembering

Of the clues we left behind, you to me and me to you

Securing that homestead we once built and vowed to return to

 

Copyright Amber Agha

 

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A Prayer To Love

Blessed Mother Father God. Help me to re-member my Truth, help me to remember that I am Love, from Love I have come and I have come here to this planet to Love. With you bearing witness I ask for forgiveness for all those times I have withheld love from myself and another. For every time I have lied, cheated, I have stolen, every time I have manipulated, used sex for gain, not honoured my body or the body of another, every time I have disregarded anothers feeling and dreams and my own. Every time I have broken a confidence, every time I have caused intentional and unintentional harm to myself or to another. I ask for forgiveness for each time I have played small, each time I have belittled another, each time I have sought to compete with another. I ask for forgiveness for every action intentional or unintentional that has taken me further away from my Divinity, from You, from Love. Blessed One, help me to be the witness of Truth and Love in my life and the lives of Others. Help me to truly Love with no conditions, myself, others and You. May I remember that it is from the realms of Wonder I have chosen to come, that I have come to this planet at this time for a reason. Help me to remember that reason and to fulfill that very reason the best that I can. May I remember to laugh more, dance more, love more, be more and in all things keep the flame of your Love, your Patience, your Beauty burning bright. May I have the discernment to know when to surrender and when to protect, when to reveal my soul and heart and when to wait. May I have your Divinity in all I do. For I Am but a piece of you come to serve at this time. Ameyn ♥

©Amber Agha

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Healing The Wounds of Betrayal

Betrayal. How do we heal the wounds of Betrayal? How to convince a heart and a mind that it is safe to trust again, to surrender, to let go?

Betrayal can take many forms and happen in many ways from of oneself, to from someone we love, to those we look up to and respect. From family to friends, to lovers, to colleagues, to feeling it at the hands of the world.

What has remained a constant for me in countless times of feeling betrayed is the knowledge that at no time was I Betrayed by Mother Father God. At no time was I betrayed by Spirit. Despite feeling like I may have been. In the end I saw that that Love was there for me continuosly and was not dependant on anything other me being open to receiving it. And so that is the way back from the effects of Betrayal. We ask Spirit to heal us, we ask to fall into the arms of Spirit and of that Endless source of Love and in that we wash ourselves free of the pain and resentments of Betrayal.

It also helps to understand that when we feel we have been betrayed by another, it is very often because that person is unable to offer us what we need or are looking for. They may be unable to be naked in their Truth, they may lack the skills to be discreet in secrets shared. And what we share with someone is then their property- so it requires a mindfulness of who we share our Souls with.

They may lack the space in their hearts or in themselves to hold the space for someone else. They will most certainly be on their own journey, and this may mean they are in a place where they are unable to be what we need them to be. And this extends to the most heinous of betrayals- abuse of power in any form to betrayal of lies told, truth witheld, confidences betrayed. That person is unable. Someone once likened this state to us wanting a man in a wheelchair to get up and walk. We are asking the impossible of someone. It is not where they are- right now. For all is Change. This does not justify the behaviour- what it asks of us is to see the struggling human in them. Is to see the Soul on a journey and that above all none of this was personal to us. We did not do something “wrong”- for we are all linked and oftentimes the stories of others shall collide with ours.

Personally the times in my life when I have been betrayed what has hurt me the most is that all along I knew. Is that all along, I had received guidance from Spirit, from my inner knowing that this person was not to be trusted, that this situation was not as it was appearing to be. I knew. And the biggest betrayal was of Self. That I refused to listen to that inner knowing.And in fact did so time and again.

For Spirit shall guide us, should we choose to allow ourselves to get so close to the whisperings of Spirit. Should we look back on events and occasions of betrayal most of the time we shall be able to say- we had a feeling, we had a sense, we were not sure and yet we did not listen.

And so the biggest healing comes when we forgive ourselves for betraying ourselves in those moments. And from that we see the trail of this pattern. How many times have we betrayed ourselves? How many times have we dishonoured ourselves. Not listening to the small voice that says I dont want to do that, I dont feel comfortable with that person, I dont like how this makes me feel. How many times have we silenced that voice as being silly, as making a fuss, as being nonsense to be controlled. How many times? And how long shall we continue doing that?

The time now  is to honour what we are feeling and what those feelings are telling us. Yes we do need to be mindful also. Sometimes that voice will be over protective. At some stage something may have happened to make that part of us now fear or be reticent of all that is out of the comfort zone. And so yes we need a balance of the heart and mind. And in those moments to gain clarity we go to Spirit. We sit in silence, we sit or walk in nature and we pray and ask for Spirit to show us the Truth of a situation. And if still unclear, if still unsure, stillness shall prove effective. For all is movement and all comes to pass in time- all unravels for us to see the whole picture- given time. And we know what is meant for us shall return, shall remain. We know this. And this shall assist us in tempering that drive to push forwards all the time and control. This shall allow us to have the patience to allow life to equally unfold and be created.

Betrayal runs in all of us. Our history is steeped with it. And when we have betrayed another- then we too shall need to contend with guilt and the seeking of Forgiveness. At the end of each day a good practice is to wipe the slate clean. To go through every event where one may have hurt another and ask forgiveness in prayer from Mother Father God, from Self and from that person. And of course if it is possible to ask forgiveness straight away from any betrayal one may have been party to. We know when we have betrayed another and better to ask for forgiveness and start the healing right away than  let it fester.

Those who betray, those who reveal confidences, those who let another down, those who abuse positions of power and responsibility, those who conceal the Truth are betraying the God part of themselves every time. They are silencing that still small voice in them which will also be screaming this does not feel right. If continued for years this part may fall silent, this gateway to the Divine may close. So they provide the biggest mirror to us as a Whole, of what happens when we stop listening to Guidance. When we stop honouring the Truth- of what we become.When we disconnect from the Divine in Us.

And if one has been betrayed? Then the prayers are to ask for help in forgiving those who have perpetrated this. And to ask for the bigger learning to be made clear. To forgive self. And to check in- how does this affect my relationship with Spirit? Am I feeling somehow this is down to Spirit and I feel let down by Spirit? In which case that is a conversation – for such it is to have in your quiet times. Your relationship with Spirit, with Mother Father God, with the Great Unseen is what shall hold you strong in times of disappointment in this Earthly Realm and so that is the Union to feed daily so it shall feed you also.

So as we grow to honour our Selves, as we grow to see that we are the reflection of The Great Spirit and so we too are Sacred. That our feelings and intuitions are the God part of us guiding us-  so then we shall start the process of Self Respect. And in that the next time we have a feeling, an intuition we shall listen, we shall see where that listening takes us. And as Man learns to betray himself less and less he shall be better placed to betray others less.

And so the Union with All deepens. For All is One.

Amber Agha

 

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