Misunderstanding Emotions

Attaching to the thought about a situation is what allows emotions to take over. When this is understood nothing will pull you in so you’ll always be in control of how you’re affected by situations that arise.

Emotions are something that are mostly misunderstood by people. Very few truly see where emotions arise from and how they cause more problems than they’re worth. Recently my mom passed away and it was emotional for many people, I was not one of them. Being emotional doesn’t mean someone loves someone more than one who isn’t emotional, nor does it suggest emotional people have more passion about something. To me all emotions do is get a person unconsciously attached to a situation. This is usually out of their control and emotions also takes away any objectiveness to that situation. I’m not saying squash emotions if they arise, what I’m saying is investigate how much they’re really needed. What do they bring to the so called table?

This is my experience of how emotions arise and why they cause problems. Whatever occurs in life is looked at as a situation and if the thought of it is attached to, this gives the thought of the situation energy and hence an emotion will arise. This doesn’t change what has occurred, but it does add a certain energy to the situation at hand and depending on how attached to the thought of the situation one is determines how emotionally controlled one will be. I’m not telling anyone not to be emotional, if they arise they arise, all I’m saying is contrary to popular belief, I find absolutely no benefit at all to getting pulled around by a situation and becoming emotional. I’m always with what arises, but attaching to the thought about a situation is what allows emotions to take over. When this is understood nothing will pull you in so you will always be in control of how you are affected by situations that arise.

 

Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change. www.mondayinyourmind.com
Michael Cupo

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