One Week Today

The only time one struggles with someone’s passing is when it’s looked at it from the point of I. There is peace in my mother’s passing and it comes from her because she is no longer suffering.

It’s been a week since my mother has passed and although she is missed, there is strength in the fact that she is now at peace. My mom suffered many years because she didn’t know how not to. She didn’t have an easy life nor did she have the tools to deal with life in a way where she didn’t carry around what happened and make it into a burden. She suffered immensely until the day she died and most of her suffering was self-inflicted only because with the tools she had in place, there was no way to get around the bondage she was in. As I sit here and reflect upon my mother’s life there’s a sense of peace in me because I know she is at peace. The only time one struggles with someone’s passing is when they look at it from the point of I, when anything is looked at from I, it’s from attachment and attachment is the root of suffering. When I look at my mother’s passing I know that she is no longer suffering and her passing was actually a blessing, my peace comes from her because it’s not about me it’s about her no longer suffering.

I’m learning a lot from this and what I’m getting in touch with is my own self created suffering and how I see it’s time for me to let go of the bondage that holds me in captivity. Everything that happens in life can be viewed as a lesson and it can be used to learn from to help one in the freedom from the bondage of self. Nobody gets out of life without going through heart ache and pain, but it’s learning from it so the attachment that’s causing the pain isn’t repeated over and over; that is key if there is to be freedom. It has been a week and I miss my mother. I’m so happy for her that she is now free and no longer has to endure the suffering that was in place, but it was only there because she didn’t have the tools to allow her to let it go.


Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change.
Michael Cupo

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