Natural Happiness

When happiness has to be manufactured instead of it naturally arising from the heart, there will be a dependency on needing to reach for it as the next fix and it’ll always seem as if it’s out there.

If the tools you are using to live your life don’t point inward, it just may be time to discard them for ones that do. I searched outside myself for tools to provide happiness for forty nine years and all I ever got were glimpses of it, it was never lasting because before long my mind became agitated and another tool was needed. Some people naturally develop tools from within, but this wasn’t to be so in my case. For whatever reason I always thought the grass was greener on the other side without realizing that grass had to be mowed also. This kept me locked into the need to reach. Happiness wasn’t fleeting because of not having the opportunity to be happy, it was fleeting because of the constant need to reach outside myself which didn’t allow happiness to arise. To me my happiness was always dependent on things being the way I thought they needed to be, but no matter what, I never really felt happy.

Even when things were exactly as I wanted, pure happiness was never experienced. A manufactured happiness was, but it’s not true because it’s dependent on something and as long as that’s the case, it will never be true. If you can’t at least be at peace with the way life is, you will never truly be happy because true happiness arises from the heart and doesn’t need anything to be. Trying to manufacture happiness is an issue because it creates a distraction that doesn’t allow it to naturally arise. When happiness has to be manufactured instead of it naturally arising from the heart, there will be a dependency on needing to reach for it as the next fix and as it was in my case, it always seemed to be as if it was out there.

 

Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change. www.mondayinyourmind.com
Michael Cupo

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