The Discontent of “I”

It’s very difficult to see the cause of one’s discontents because the Conditioned Mind isn’t understood enough to allow for this insight to be seen, thus one remains entrapped to “l” wanting things different.

Anytime the present moment is wanted different, instantly this causes the one wanting it different to become discontented. Why this discontent happens isn’t because of what’s occurring, it happens because of the delusion that there’s the existence of an “I”, but it’s only the idea of “I” that could ever want anything different and thus be discontented. This is so subtle that it’s missed by most people, even those who claim to be deeply spiritual. Why this is missed is because the Conditioned Mind isn’t understood at the level that allows for this insight to be seen. Many have a practice that’s mind based and so much of what’s in place is from the intellect. True peace can never be fully experienced from the intellect alone, it can assist in getting the mind to settle enough to allow insights to arise without having to make something up, but the mind will have to be minus any story of a so call journey to allow this.

I know the style of my writing annoys some, and it’s because I write matter of factually, but I only write what is seen. I don’t try to make anyone see things as I do, but I know what kept me discontented for most of my life and why it’s not this way today. Wanting the slightest thing that arises in the moment different causes one’s discontent, from a simple hang nail, to wanting me to write differently, to losing a loved one or even wanting a loved one, and although some things will be attached to more than others, the base of the delusional “I” is the common denominator of all discontent. It has nothing to do with what one thinks is causing the discontent, only attachment causes it and “I” is at the core. Very difficult to see because this “I” will tell you you’re not discontented, that the writer of this article doesn’t know you, but if what I wrote wasn’t true, it would just roll off and your “I” wouldn’t give it a second thought. For me I’ve learn the delusional “I” is disguised as my discontents and the only way I’ll ever be free is to let go of “I”.

Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change. www.mondayinyourmind.com
Michael Cupo

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