Turning Away From I

Needing to turn in to an object happens because it’s one’s I that makes this so. Only turning away from this clinging will result in freedom and this is because it’s the turning away that provides the letting go.

When one is caught turning into an object of desire and it takes hold of all your attention, the only way to break free of this is to have awareness you’re caught. Once this occurs turning away from the object is the only way the hold will be broken. The object doesn’t matter in the sense in can be anything from a thing, a place, people or even yourself, but what does matter is seeing whatever it is that’s making you turn into it. There are so many different objects used that one will have to decipher for themselves what holds them. The turning into is different only because of the object used, but the turning away is the same as long as there isn’t substitutions. Many people stop smoking only to use food and eventually go back to turning into using cigarettes. This is just one example, substitution is rampant in our society and this keeps one locked into turning in and remaining on the merry go round of using objects.

Turning away from whatever it is that grips you is where you will experience true freedom. Why this is difficult for most people to truly see is because I is not seen as the core of the turning and this is why substitutions are so prevalent. If the turning in results in using drugs or alcohol as its object, when a program is used to stop using them, unless one turns away from I drugs and alcohol will most likely be used again. Why this is so is because the program is used to turn in also and although one stops using drugs and alcohol, the program is used as substituting one object for another and doesn’t provide true freedom. Only turning away will result in freedom and that’s because it’s the turning away that provides it. This is why the object doesn’t matter, because it’s one’s I that makes one turn in and it’s only in turning away from I that one will be free.

Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change. www.mondayinyourmind.com
Michael Cupo

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