No Pushing Please

The tool of pushing away that’s developed to cope with life is why one’s life is seemingly full of problems, but whatever arises doesn’t cause the problems, it’s the pushing away that does.

Nothing needs to be dismissed for one to be free. Freedom can not be found by pushing anything away. Pushing something away would be likened to getting rid of something, but truly getting rid of something will only happen when it’s dealt with because if not it will never go away. When it’s dealt with it won’t have to be pushed away because it will naturally fall away. This is how one has to approach each moment if freedom is to be had. The way we develop tools to cope with things as they arise is why there’s problems, whatever it is that arises doesn’t truly cause the problem. Granted it may be something that really hurts and has no benefit whatsoever, like the death of a loved one, but if it’s not dealt with in a way that it’s not dismissed or a made up story is used, the energy of the situation will get stored and remain hidden until it’s time to rise up again. This is why the same thoughts are repeated over and over without really giving them much thought, they have to because of the trace energy in place.

Awareness that this is happening can allow you to be with what arises and not want it different. After all that’s the only reason a person pushes something away because it’s not wanted. But you see this pushing is the same energy as grasping it’s just being used differently. Pushing is attachment to not wanting it and grasping is attachment to wanting it, different action, but the same attachment. This is very subtle to see and it will only be noticed when one is with the moment as it arises and doesn’t want life to be different. So regardless if it’s labeled good or bad, it’s all the same attachment, and the only the thing the applied label does is determine if one reaches for something or pushes it away.

Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change.
Michael Cupo

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