Only I Needs Forgiveness

Forgiveness is used so one can be released from (let go of) the hurt that’s being held on to, but regardless of what’s done, the hurt only hurts the person holding on to it, not the person who did the hurt.

Here is what I see when it comes to forgiveness, I’m not immune or insensitive to the hurts people feel, which are real to those holding onto them, so they can’t just be ignored. Why one uses forgiveness is to be released from (let go of) the hurt that’s being held onto. Regardless of what is done the hurt only hurts the person holding on to it, not the person who did the hurt. The only way to get beyond the hurt is to let it go, but the thing done isn’t let go of, it’s the attachment to I that needs to be let go of; I is what’s holding on to whatever it is that was done. There’s no getting around some of the horrible (non loving) things people do that surely cause hurts, but if there’s no I attached to it, there’s no one actually being hurt. So because of this, the hurt only hurts until I is let go of. You can say at this point this is forgiveness, but what you’re actually doing is letting go of an I attachment. Are you not?

It’s called forgiveness because of the lack of understanding of what’s actually transpiring; letting go of I attachment is what’s occurring. Sit with this and you will see it for yourself. I don’t make this stuff up, it takes a very settled mind to see what’s really going on in life. The conventional way of looking at things is deeply engrained and I challenge anyone to discount any of my writings, not because I’m a know it all, but because they come from a place that’s beyond me.

Here’s a short personal example, someone did something to me when I was young that I carried around for forty plus years. When I learned that I was conditioned to act in the ways that I did I also learned so was everyone else (they know not what they do). Although everyone is accountable for their actions, this understanding freed me from the attachment my I was holding on to. I didn’t forgive the person, there was no need to. This is how it works for everything that happens, you can say this is BS, but understand that’s just your attachment to I saying that. I doesn’t want you to know the truth because it will set you free and what you will be free of is I.

Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change.
Michael Cupo

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  1. If ‘I’ is your true self how can the me/bodymind be free of it?
    We have an outerbody and an inner body.The inner is not of this earthly experience
    but is the witness to all that arises to the outer. The outer is run by the ego/brain but when quiet and not chattering with thought it may encounter experientially the inner which is portal to transcendence.
    I wont use the vulgarity BS but I would say that your experience,though genuine needs closer interpretation.

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