Behind Closed Doors Integrity

Behind closed doors integrity means, what you do behind closed doors is the same as what you do when someone is watching, if this isn’t the level of one’s integrity, it’s because there’s a lack of self honesty.

One way to the purification of the mind and heart is to develop integrity. Here’s one definition of integrity “the quality of being honest” to me this is about self honesty because when I’m truly honest with me, there’s no way I can be dishonest with anyone else. I’ve learned a lot about self honesty in the last nine years and it’s something that eluded me for most of my life. Honesty isn’t about what I present to the world, it’s about what is done behind closed doors. The world is easily fooled because of the conditioning in place, but what does it matter if one gains the whole world, but loses themselves.

Integrity is a huge hurdle in breaking the chains of the Conditioned Mind, without it truth cannot be revealed. If I don’t know what blocks me from the purification of the mind and heart, the blocks remain, and without establishing what I call “behind closed doors integrity” one remains stuck in their old habits because there’s no room for anything new. Certain things trigger certain thoughts and if those thoughts are attached to, it’s usually because one’s integrity has been compromised. Although there’s no right or wrong in this, it does make someone do something behind closed doors that they wouldn’t necessarily do if someone was watching; as always investigate this for yourself.

Only to yourself is honesty necessary because it’s only yourself that will keep you from the purification of your mind and heart. This self honestly is tied in with loving yourself; when you’re honest with yourself, you’re truly loving yourself because you’re making room for the mind to expand, this allows for the integrity to do what you do behind closed doors just as you do in front of others. Difficult yes, but only because “behind closed doors integrity” isn’t the level of honesty that’s in place.

Michael Cupo
I grew up in Newark, New Jersey, one of six children. I have been married for 25 years. I own a home, and I have two children. I have been at the same job for 28 years. I am the happiest I have ever been and it is all because of the Love that has always been in my life. I attribute all that has happened to me to that Love. None of what has transpired in the last five years of my life has anything to do with any accomplishments on my part. There was always a lot of love in our home as I grew up, but for reasons unknown to me at the time I was always in trouble. I was at the top of my brother-in-law’s “Who My Sister Shouldn’t Marry” list. I drank alcoholically, gambled, abused drugs and painkillers. I bounced from relationship to relationship. Even after I stopped abusing alcohol and drugs in 1987, my so-called outer troubles stopped, but my self-centered behavior never changed. All I did was substitute one compulsion for another. Although my addiction became more respectable—taking the form of material possessions—I was still trapped, migrating restlessly from one obsession to another. I went to Twelve Step meetings, derived some benefit from them, and then fell away. My loved ones got me into de-tox and rehab programs. But once I was released, the cycle of insatiable craving started all over again. This cycle seemed to work for me . . . until it didn’t. And then my life changed — not instantly or magically, but profoundly. I share this change in It’s Monday Only in Your Mind: You Are Not Your Thoughts. I discovered that I wasn’t dependent upon a substance or activity, but ruled by my ego. My need to reach outside myself for fulfillment was created by a false perception of deficiency. If this sense of lack didn’t exist in me, there wouldn’t have been a need to reach and grasp. My credentials for writing this book are simply that I live this change each day. My view of life is so different from the way it used to be. Through the practice outlined in my book, I have learned to quiet my mind enough to allow my heart to open. The quieter my mind becomes, the more Love becomes the default setting of my life. This is truly a modern-day miracle, a miracle that can happen to anyone who has the urge to change.
Michael Cupo

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